What you will think and/or say
What to do
Is your fault that our child was born with food allergies.

Every day a new study is published about what causes  food allergies. Results range from genetics, to living in an extra
clean environment, food additives, pesticides, and even the water we drink.  Bottom line, more research is still on the
works, so don't waste your time on this subject.
You don't even know what our child is allergic to...you
just don't care.
Both parents need to be exposed to the same facts and experiences regarding children’s health. Both parents should
go to the doctor appointments or therapies, school meetings and other important activities so that they get the same
experiences and input.
STOP! Don't give him/her that.  Are you crazy?
Make a list of the foods your child is allergic to, and post it in a visible area in the kitchen.  Include related products and
ingredients in the list.  For example,  if the child is allergic to milk include in the list margarine, butter, whey, casein.
Even the brightest mids have a difficult time keeping up with the different related names to the food allergens.
Since our child was born with food allergies you no
longer care about me?
Parenting a child with a chronic medical condition results in more on-the-job stress than being a police officer.  
Couples need to discuss what kind of help they will need, but if the financial situation doesn't allow you to pay someone
to do the job, then make a list of the chores and decide who will be responsible for it.

Also, bring down a notch how clean and perfect everything around the house needs to look. Buying disposable paper
plates and cups will not only save time but also is safer to minimize cross contamination.  
Why did you bring peanuts into the house?  How can
you be so selfish?
This is an important rule to put in place and make sure that everyone that enters your home follows it.  There are many
risks related to cross-contamination exposure: cooking,  kissing, touching door knobs, drinking from same cup.
You have to choose between having a 100% allergy free home or not.

1. 100% allergy free home means that no one is allowed to bring into your home any foods and products that contain
the food allergens. Sounds crazy? It might seem like an impossible task but after a while it can actually be the easiest
and safest choice.

2.Create a "non allergy free" area in the house where the allergic child is not allowed to go into. Keep in mind that
cooking certain foods such as eggs, peanuts, and milk could also affect the allergic child and caused a severe allergic
Why can't you understand  that your  mother is not
capable of taking care of our food allergic child?
Agree on who will take care of the child besides the two of you. Is OK to find creative ways to stay at home and go out to
the terrace or apt balcony on a date when the kids go to bed.
Why does everyone in the family needs to sacrifice?
If you have more than one child discuss if, when and how the non-allergic child will be allowed to eat the foods that
could kill the allergic kid. Nothing wrong with not allowing a sibling to eat certain foods at home.  
Why did you leave the Epipen at home again?  You just
don't get it.
Place a bowl, or a hook next to the home exit door and get used to placing the Epipen's next to the home keys.
As soon as the child is old enough to carry Epipen's make him/her responsible for "self carrying" the injectors.  
Do not underestimate your kids ability to do so.  Many kids start carrying the epinephrine's when they enter kindergarten.
Why didn't you inject him/her and called 911?  Don't you
get it that he/she could have died?
Make an emergency plan and ensure everyone in the family knows what they need to do even when the allergic reaction
seems to be mild.
Why don't you trust me?
Trust will only happen if the couple takes time to discuss and agree on how to manage food allergies and doesn't
deviate from the plan. Discussing how to manage your kids food allergies and respecting each others decision should
be number one on the list.

Don't  lie to each other  to prevent an argument. There is no  room for error when parenting a child with food allergies.
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Medical Alert
having a child with food allergies
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